


Bipolar beauty.

by Crossbows_and_moonshine



Series: Daryl x reader one shots [28]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8260502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossbows_and_moonshine/pseuds/Crossbows_and_moonshine
Summary: You’re Jesus’s sister and suffer with bipolar. You move to Alexandria so Denise can help you but you find what you need from someone unexpected. A/N: Everyone’s mental health effects them in different ways, I used my own experience with bipolar for this story.





	

 

Pacing around on the porch of Ricks house, you bit your thumb nervously. Your brother Jesus was asking Rick and his group if you could stay in Alexandria so Denise could help you, as she knew more about psychology than normal medicine. You had bipolar, you weren’t diagnosed until you were in your early 20s, but you’d suffered long before then. After a crap tonne of different medication, you found one that actually helped. It didn’t take it away, but it made your mood swings lessen and not cycle as fast, it was the rapid cycles you struggled to deal with. _Like right now._ Two days ago you were depressed, Jesus found you hurting yourself, now you were struggling with mania. And not the good or productive kind. Sometimes you’d find your manic side was a walker slaying beast, no fear and kick ass. You would come up with the best plans and strategies for things, you were unstoppable. But times like this, you were plagued with the voices of loved ones you lost, telling you that you didn’t do enough to help. You’d hear your father, tormenting you like he did when you were small. You found yourself talking to the voices out loud which always resulted in weird looks and people thinking you were crazy. All you felt was anxiety and irritation. You couldn’t keep still and had a million thoughts running through your brain.

Jesus came out and saw you, he gave you a sympathetic smile. He was used to dealing with you by now, but he still didn’t understand it. And ever since you ran out of meds he has been trying his hardest to help.  
“You can stay. Denise said she’s going to get a care plan ready for you, trying therapies and things since we cant get hold of your meds now.” He said putting his arm round you, leading you inside.   
“I’m staying for dinner, then I’ve got to head back. Carol said she would show you the room and help you get settled.” You really liked Carol, you liked them all in Alexandria. They were good people and they welcomed you with open arms. You nodded at him and went inside. Everyone was scattered about eating their food, Jesus went and sat with Rick.   
“Thanks for letting me stay and stuff Rick.” You smiled at him whilst grabbing a plate of food.  
“Don’t mention it, I’m glad we can try to help.” He smiled warmly.  
You looked around and there wasn’t much space to sit, you saw Daryl sat on the floor so you went over and sat near him. He was a nice guy, just a little quiet. But that’s not a bad thing when the voices in your head won’t shut the fuck up. He smiled at you when you sat down, and you returned the gesture. You started to eat, but all you could hear was your dad, telling you how worthless you are, and the usual shit he would say before beating the shit out of you. You started feeling angry, your dad was pissing you off.  
“Go the fuck away!” You hissed whilst smacking the side of your head. Daryl looked at you shocked, he knew of your problems but never really witnessed it like this before. He had seen the good manic side, not this.  
“Y’alright?” He asked concerned. You looked at him embarrassed that he saw you.  
“Yeah, I think I just want to go to bed.” You said sadly. You scanned the room for Carol but couldn’t see her.  
“I can show ya yer room? Mines next to yers.” He offered with a small smile. You nodded and he helped you up.

That night you couldn’t sleep. It was getting worse, the voices wouldn’t stop, it was getting too much. You were pacing up and down your room and arguing with your dad, well your dad’s voice. You were unintentionally sobbing, not really realising you were crying. You were too lost in the darkness of your own mind to notice that you weren’t being quiet. Daryl was trying to sleep but he could hear you. He figured you were having some sort of nightmare, he could hear you crying and muttering things. He tried to ignore it but it went on for what felt like forever, so he got up and went to your room. He opened the door expecting you to be asleep in bed, so he was shocked to see you up and pacing around whilst talking to yourself. He didn’t know what to do or say, he felt sorry for you, being tormented like this. You turned around and saw him, you weren’t embarrassed this time, you were too far gone to care.  
“Make them stop!” You begged as you rushed to him and sobbed into his chest. He tensed at first but then relaxed, wrapping his arms around you as you continued to cry.  
“S’alright y/n, I’m here now.” He tried to soothe rubbing your back. You tried to calm your breathing down and the longer you stayed with Daryl, the quieter the voices seemed to get. You looked at him, wondering how he was able to make the voices stop. He wiped away your tears and gave you a weak smile.  
“C’mon, ya gotta sleep.” He said softly, he lead you to the bed and lay you down.  
“Will…will you stay with me? Please?” You asked shyly. He bit his lip as he thought about it, he wasn’t the comforting type and he didn’t even know you that well, yet he felt compelled to help you. He nodded and got into bed with you. You snuggled into him as you lay your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you.  
“How did you do it?” You asked, moving your head to look at him.  
“Do what?” He questioned looking confused.  
“Make the voices stop. You made them go away.” You said softly. He didn’t say anything but held you tighter. He didn’t know what to say but he felt good that he was able to help you. You both ended up drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

When you woke up you were disappointed to see Daryl wasn’t there, you would have thought it was a dream if it wasn’t for the fact the pillow smelt of him. As the day progressed the voices got louder, you just wanted Daryl but he was out hunting. Denise stopped by and went through the care plan with you, you were happy with what she put together and you would start tomorrow. After she left you were on your own, the voices went away, but they were replaced by a suffocating depression. Your mood had cycled again, the switch was flipped. It felt like someone was sat on your chest, you struggled to breathe. The sadness was overwhelming and you found yourself sobbing on the sofa for hours. You went upstairs and sat on the bed, eyeing your knife. You needed something, you needed a release, and this was all you had. You got undressed and put an oversized shirt on and clean panties, you sat back down with your knife in hand and started to cut at the top of your thigh. The relief was instant, you felt like you could breathe again, but you knew it would be short lived. The shame kicked in as you sat there, staring at the blood. You felt weak and pathetic. You sat there retreating back in your own mind, you didn’t hear the footsteps, you didn’t hear the door open, hell you didn’t see the shocked Hunter staring at you from the doorway. You just stared vacantly at the was opposite. Daryl rushed to you, kneeling in front of the bed at your legs.

“Y/n, what the fuck d’ya do?!” He asked harshly as he grabbed a top from the floor and pushed it to your thigh to stop the bleeding. You could hear him but you were too far into yourself to reply or even move.  
“Y/n?” He asked concerned, he looked into your vacant eyes and knew something wasn’t right.  
“Can ya hear me?” He questioned as he grabbed your face with his spare hand and made you look at him. He was looking into your eyes, searching for something.  
“Fuckin’ shit.” He mumbled to himself. He was panicking, he didn’t know what to do or what was wrong. He wanted to get Denise but he didn’t trust you to be on your own at the moment, so he grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and cleaned and dressed your cuts to prevent infection. All the while you were just sat there vacant. He took a deep breath and looked at you, seeing you like this was stirring something inside of him, he was pained watching you like this. He didn’t think such a wonderful woman deserved to have to suffer the torture of her own mind when you already lived in hell on earth.  
“Can ya hear me y/n?” He asked gently as he took your face in both of his rough hands. You were kind of there, kind of not, you registered his words and that he was there. Your eyes snapped to him and he mustered up a small half smile that you weren’t completely gone.  
“Lay down, ya need to rest.” He said softly as he guided you to lay down. He curled himself around you and covered you with the blanket. It wasn’t long before he heard your breathing deepen as you fell into a deep sleep. He wanted to stay with you longer but he had watch, so he stayed as long as he could, hoping it was bringing some sort of comfort to you. He reluctantly got out of bed, tucking you in, and headed to Denise quickly before he had watch.

“I dunno what the fuck to do Denise, its like she ain’t there, was weird.” He sighed.  
“It’s normal for her Daryl, when she gets depressed she retreats within herself, its a way of coping, as is the self harm. She wasn’t kidding when she said her moods cycle rapidly, I was with her this morning and she was fine.” Denise explained.   
“I wanna help her, is there anythin’ I can do?” He asked concerned, earning a small smile from Denise.  
“Well she’s depressed, so she’s probably going to shut off, maybe just keep her company and make sure she’s eating. It would be a good idea to try to get her out for a bit, the fresh air will help and a change of scenery would work wonders for her. Oh and get rid of anything she could use to hurt herself!” She said frowning. Daryl nodded whilst biting his lip. He would need to do that before watch just in case. He headed back to you and you were still asleep, so he cleared the room of anything he deemed suitable for self harm. He stood there for a moment, watching you, your peaceful face. You looked so beautiful when you were calm. He sighed as he retreated once more and went to watch.

The next day you woke up alone, you didn’t want to leave the house, no scratch that, you didn’t want to leave your bed. The heavy weight on your chest was slowly drowning you and you felt like it would be easier not to be here anymore. Jesus floated through your mind and you felt guilty for even contemplating that idea, it would destroy him. You hated that you couldn’t be normal, you hated that Daryl had seen you so weak, you were embarrassed. You heard footsteps coming up the stairs, you turned to the wall so your back was facing the door and pulled the cover over your head. You heard the door open but then it was silent for a while, you nearly jumped when you felt a weight on the bed.  
“Ya awake?” You heard Daryl ask. You just made a noise, some sort of grunt as you stayed in the covers. You suddenly felt cold as he ripped the covers off you. You looked over your shoulder and glared at him.  
“C’mon, get up, ya comin’ huntin’ with me.” He commanded. You groaned and grabbed the covers to hide again but he grabbed them and threw them on the floor. He gave you a look as if to dare you to challenge him so you rolled your eyes and slid out of bed. You grabbed the clothes and looked at him, he blushed as he noticed he was watching you and looked away quickly. You got dressed and you both headed out in comfortable silence. You started to feel a little better being out in the woods, you looked at Daryl and when he looked at you, you smiled.

“Thanks for this. I already feel a little better.” You admitted shyly.  
“S’nothin’” He said but the corners of his mouth turned up a little. He was fighting the smile, he didn’t want to look like a weirdo, but it made him happy to know he was helping you again. You caught his little smile and couldn’t help but smile yourself. You’d been following tracks for a while when Daryl stopped abruptly, before you had a chance to ask, a bolt flew through the air and hit a rabbit in between the eyes.  
“Shit, you’re really good at this.” You smiled. He couldn’t suppress the smug smirk that planted itself on his face, he felt his pride swell at your complement but he was also shocked that he apparently cared so much about what you thought about him.   
“Wish I could use a bow or something. I mean I’m good with my knives but I’d love to learn to track and hunt and to use a crossbow.” You sighed.  
“Can teach ya if ya want?” He asked looking at you.  
“You would?!” You asked surprised. He nodded and you couldn’t help the giant smile on your face. He found himself smiling like a fool with you at the fact he had cheered you up so much. He walked over to a tree and carved a big x as a target with his knife.  
“C’mere.” He said gesturing with his head for you to stand next to him. You walked over and he handed you the crossbow, you nearly dropped it with the weight and he smirked at you. You tried to hold it the way you’d seen him do it but you couldn’t get it right. He came up behind you and adjusted your arms.  
“See, like this. Also ya stance is all wrong.” He explained as he kicked your legs apart a little and rested his hands on your hips to turn you in the correct position. His touch was sending electric impulses through your whole body, you suddenly felt dizzy. He was so close that you could feel his breath on your neck. He knew how close he was to you but he couldn’t move, touching you was sending his heart into overdrive, but he liked it.  
“Pull the trigger.” He breathed into your ear. You shivered and he bit his lip at your body’s response, unintentionally tightening his grip on you. You pulled the trigger and surprisingly hit the target between the eyes.

“Holy Shit! I did it!” You exclaimed as you turned to face him. He found himself feeling proud of you and smiled at your beaming face. For once you felt like you didn’t have mental health issues, you felt normal. Daryl was better than any drug you’d been prescribed. His hands were still on your hips and he was staring at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. You started to lean in slowly, hesitantly, you were shocked when Daryl closed the gap, crashing his lips onto yours. The kiss was tender yet incredibly passionate and he grabbed the back of your neck to deepen the kiss and he ran his tongue over your bottom lip. You parted your lips to grant him entry and your tongues danced together. When you broke apart you were both breathless and smiled at each other.  
“I don’t know how the fuck you do it.” You smiled.  
“What?” He asked confused.  
“Make me feel this way. Like I’m…normal. Like I’m happy.” You sighed contently. He didn’t know what to say, your words touched his heart and he felt good that he could help you so much. He cupped your face and kisses you deeply.  
You’d finally found a remedy to your pain.


End file.
